Wanted: Future

The future is a bloody scary place and I'm not entirely sure where I'm going to fit into it.

I've never really known what I wanted to be. I mean, past childish musings on becoming an architect(too much drawing), a history teacher(i don't know why either) or even a writer(makes absolutely no money). I've never felt I have a calling.

The odd thing is, I've had opportunities to do things, good, nice and perfectly respectable things and I've turned them down. For no other reason than an irrational feeling that 'it isn't me,' whoever that is.

Now though, the last couple of weeks or so, some of these opportunities appear to be coming round again and there are a few new ones right there along side them. This me though, the one who's fed up of muddling through, the one who feels that he might have to create a niche for himself, rather than hope it finds him(I really need to stop talking about myself in the third person), is looking to grasp the nettle as it were.

I don't know what I'll end up doing and I may well fail, but I reckon I'll probably have a fair bit of fun on the way.

I don't know what this blog is about, trying to replace a natural cynicism for a relentless optimism? convincing myself that things always work out in the end? Probably though, and kind of aptly, it's about not knowing and being alright with it for a change.

Evs